I am depressed. I am extremely depressed. I am depressed to the point that I wonder why am I alive?
WHY WHY WHY??
I guess I am alive because I completely procrastinated on the whole suicide idea. Then I thought if I am going to die might as well get a life insurance. But unfortunately the life insurance does not cover suicide for the first year...so suicide is off the cards for one year.
When you are depressed, you need your friends to motivate and support you. Speaking of friends, when my so called "best friend" came to know of my plans, his sole concern was why haven't I nominated him in my insurance policy. Way to go "BFF"
Depression is not just a word or a feeling. It covers and affects everything from not sleeping to the horrific nightmares my brain throws at me if I manage to fall asleep.
Horrible nightmares...in which I am falling in a pit of snakes and then there are millions of snakes crawling over me, grappling me, biting me.
I thought if I saw Hiss, those snakes in my dreams might get replaced by Mal-licka, but that didn't happen.
Mallika...not to be
So now, I have a dead end job in which there is nothing for me to do.Maybe its because if you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again And now I don't even bother showing my face to my superiors cause I don't fear the consequences.
So what do I do all day?
I sit and ponder over petty things like if you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn into?
So what do I do all day?
I sit and ponder over petty things like if you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn into?
hmmm...purple
I try to not think of the one person I should not think of but that is just too damn hard to do.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." and then 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go to sleep
But I am still alive...
So far, so good.
P.S: If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up.
But since the ocean isnt vodka and Im not a duck, Just hand me the bottle and shut the fuck up
