I am depressed. I am extremely depressed. I am depressed to the point that I wonder why am I alive?
WHY WHY WHY??
I guess I am alive because I completely procrastinated on the whole suicide idea. Then I thought if I am going to die might as well get a life insurance. But unfortunately the life insurance does not cover suicide for the first year...so suicide is off the cards for one year.
When you are depressed, you need your friends to motivate and support you. Speaking of friends, when my so called "best friend" came to know of my plans, his sole concern was why haven't I nominated him in my insurance policy. Way to go "BFF"
Depression is not just a word or a feeling. It covers and affects everything from not sleeping to the horrific nightmares my brain throws at me if I manage to fall asleep.
Horrible nightmares...in which I am falling in a pit of snakes and then there are millions of snakes crawling over me, grappling me, biting me.
I thought if I saw Hiss, those snakes in my dreams might get replaced by Mal-licka, but that didn't happen.
Mallika...not to be
So now, I have a dead end job in which there is nothing for me to do.Maybe its because if you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again And now I don't even bother showing my face to my superiors cause I don't fear the consequences.
So what do I do all day?
I sit and ponder over petty things like if you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn into?
So what do I do all day?
I sit and ponder over petty things like if you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn into?
hmmm...purple
I try to not think of the one person I should not think of but that is just too damn hard to do.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." and then 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go to sleep
But I am still alive...
So far, so good.
P.S: If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up.
But since the ocean isnt vodka and Im not a duck, Just hand me the bottle and shut the fuck up
ha ha
ReplyDeletelines written in P.S.......lol :D
Hheheheeheh... :-)
ReplyDeleteYou r not depressed.May be ur mind is searching for something or SOMEONE to whom u always want to keep at the bottom of your heart and the very thought of losing it is choking you.I want to tell u something out of my experience:
ReplyDeletewe often don't express our feelings for fear of losing a relationship but the fact is we often a beautiful relationship by not expressing feelings.
plz give a thought to it.
shammi
Cheer up be...all i can say is this !!!
ReplyDeleteShammi bhaiya nainital ja rahe ho ki nahi?? :P
ReplyDeleteMy views are similar to those of Rohit's. Try finding out the salt which u think is missing in your life.Cheer up buddy...life's good
ReplyDeleteabe its not just the salt that is missing..its the salt+ the vodka shot+ the slime of lime
ReplyDeletewow!!!!!!!!.......never knew u could write this well!!!!....WOW....
ReplyDeletein awe
ReplyDeleteacchhi piyo kharab piyo
ReplyDeletejab piyo sharab piyo...
jai vodka
frankly speaking i don't care(until you ask me specifically for some help) to how you feel...but man this is awesome stuff...is there anything like professional blogging... dude go and try your hands at that!
ReplyDeleteayushi,saro and prashant: thanks a lot
ReplyDeleteP.S was too good. How r u dng?
ReplyDeleteDon't don't don't
ReplyDeleteDon't get that much depressed.
What if she is not there to hold u tight, to make u laugh for the most silly things,to take ur side when all r against u, to listen to ur nonsense which nobody else would even bother, to jump with u in pool even if she doesn't know swimming, to watch the most absurd bollywood movie has ever produced with u, to hang out with u on ghats even after knowing that her parents will scold her, to be with u on ur old bike when other brand new bikers were ready to take her out and finally to take a sip of vodka with u even though she just totally hates drinking..............life goes on, my dear.
TAKE IT AS IT COMES.
TO BE HUMAN IS TO BE DISAPPOINTED, AND VICE-VERSA.
P.S. These lines are not intended to aggravate the feeling that has grappled you these days.
THE BFF:well....he is waytpast the stage where sumthing cud be done.....so i thot....why not take sumthing out of it...atleast His suicide wont be completely useless :P
ReplyDelete@ashish.....It does not matter...how many more donts u have added.....sunta kaun hai!!!
And u see....I cud hold him tight(i really cud;))....and do all those things u said....hell I have done most of the things...leaving aside the pool thing( we dint get the chance yet)....I have Hello,whts ur rashi...and most recently Action Replay...just how much more absurd It can get :P....lost my digicam on his damn bike :(....but u see....u cud do all those things....but A guy always needs a "SHE"(for the obvious reaasons;))...and Pls stop taking as it comes....bounce it so damn hard that next time it would come ur way(unfortunately....for him...thr is no next time:P):|
P.S.My ultimate goal of life is to search for anti-life equation...and be free of being human(coz as u said "TO BE HUMAN IS TO BE DISAPPOINTED"....and of course I dont want to be)!!!!.....hihuhahahahahhaa
those ps lines are real classic, rest all well said.
ReplyDelete